what happens when your life, your passion, your goal, your dream, becomes your nightmare?
ripping away at every part of the life you’d never felt or seen, discarding the experiences that could or should have been, into oblivion.
you hate it, but you need it.you crave it. you want it so bad it makes you cry. yet you have such a distaste for it, it makes you scream.
shooting through the veins like a drug, you are at peace and disaster simultaneously. afterwards rel(g)rief overcome the tired body.
as long as you can recall, it is all you’ve ever known, life without it is non existent. such a huge part of you has been built upon it. the feeling as natural as the wind sweeping across your face, yet your soul cries out in pain for something new.
so sick and tired of practice after practice filled with frustration and decreasing self worth. all the hard work; constant sweat and exhaustion, only to be replaced with bitter disappointments of stereotypical results and failed attempts to shine.
a part of you would never give up that last little bit of life, and because of that the ability to truly rise up and become a champion in your eyes was lost.
you remember a time when it was your escape. nothing else mattered but the movement of your body and the feeling of pushing yourself further and further. it was never enough.
the search for perfection neverending… the hatred ever increasing… a fight between the image you wanted and the image you see in the mirror, transformed by years of discipline.
finally you broke out of your shell, to show your true self to them. you were shot down for being different. enough you say. ENOUGH.
sick of your one-sided, boxed in views. sick of your old-fashioned ways. sick of the way it makes you feel inside.
tomorrow you will break free forever. don’t be afraid to cry, its going to hurt. though not near as much that its caused you to feel for sixteen years…
take the good it has taught you; unforgettable life lessons that have built you into who you are. open the door to the warm air and walk away a fighter, with a smile on your face.
perhaps you will miss it in a year, maybe even in six months. but right now, the rebirth of freedom.
goodbye cruel world.