To be yourself when you have been taught to be anything else is the most courageous decision you can ever make. -unknown
Holy crap. Here it is. January 1, 2020.
Is it possible to have a heart that feels both heavy and light? Because today, writing this to you all, I very much do. Heavy for all the amazing experiences, people, and paths trod I leave behind. Light for stepping into who I truly am and moving forward into the unknown; evolution at its finest. All of it, is absolutely terrifying. And I say this because I want you to know, I am scared shitless. I also want you to know, that doing the thing you are scared of, is where the most magic can happen.
For most of my life as Erin Rebecca Bros I have denied who I am. When I’ve wanted to speak up or speak out with my own words, I haven’t. When I had the opportunity to make big, scary choices and changes that went against everyone else surrounding me; I didn’t. I have no regrets, and feel no remorse in saying this. Every decision I made, I made for a reason. I am so proud and honoured to be writing this for you today. I am so proud of my story.
I am a passionate person, and I believe it is important to live life doing what you feel in your heart. I am also intelligent and a deeply critical thinker, with a logical brain that can easily take over and execute what is needed to be done. My insatiable work ethic has truly helped me hide behind paths that were not mine in longevity, to shine and succeed in ways I might not otherwise have been able to. For all the paths I have taken and choices I have made, I truly believed they came from passion. But, funny enough, most of these passions have changed, grown, faded away.
The ones that remain today, have been there since my first memories. Imprinted in my DNA, a part of how I am meant to express on this Earth. I still remember the first book I wrote as a small child, illustrations and all. I can’t remember what it was about, but I remember the feelings of pride, joy and accomplishment in completing it and then sharing it with others. I remember by age 6, every night after dinner I would put on “Summer Hits of the 50s and 60s” followed by The Troggs album, and dance to both of them in their entirety. I would sing out loud with my Walkman headphones on during road trips, much to my parents dismay. I don’t remember my first poem, probably because I didn’t realize what I was writing was poetry until I was 17 years old. But I do remember that one, and how it and many others helped me process and deal with life. I remember my childhood most by my time spent outside, in the quiet and loving embrace of the forest.
My voice has always been loud and powerful, even when I’ve chosen not to use it. I’ve been actively repressing it since the age of 18, when I had so much to say and didn’t think I had the right to say it, or that anyone would listen. There have been times it has come out, here and there, but mostly like a lost, confused child…not as the self assured woman I step into today.
As of today there is no more hiding, no more playing it safe and secure. I am nearly 30 years young and old, and there is infinite and yet no more time to lose. I am putting it all out there because I want to live in a world where every single human being does it too. I want this Earth to be filled with life that is lived, chances that are taken, and stories that are shared. Everyone has a story that deserves to be heard. Everyone. The tragedies in our world most often come from a lack of connection, a feeling of being alone; of not being seen or heard. Stories are the basis of human connection, and it is through this I now choose my path to walk.
I am a writer and a poet. I am a story teller. I am and will remain so many other things, being a multi-faceted human being. I am a wild woman of the outdoors, who belongs surrounded by mountains, ocean and tall trees. I love to plant trees and talk about rocks. I love to speak other languages; traveling and exploring this planet. I am a musician who loves to sing. I am a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a friend.
If I can ask but one favour, after all this. Going forward, if you resonate with my words, something I say or do on this beautiful online platform-please share. My intention comes from a desire within that I cannot deny any longer, where the words come onto the page faster than I can process them in my head. But also to be able to share so I can make others feel less alone, or give them the courage to do what they need to do in this life. That is the purpose of my work. And so I ask you to pass it along, and may it reach others whom it might help. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. And please, don’t ignore your magic, however terrifying it may feel.
All my love,