Life never went the way you planned. A naturally J-rooted tree, or a forest erupting in flames from the blasted spark of lightning. Unexpected. Unplanned. Unpleasant.
You crazy, beautiful soul. Barefoot, with the wind at your back and the trees at your side. At peace. Part of you woven into the roots of those old growths, feeding off their wisdom and guidance. Looking for an answer to why the city constantly beckons you. Why your heart is constantly picked and plucked at like a child who won’t eat their vegetables. Teasing them, pretending they’ll be eaten when we all know they will stay on that plate until the moon lights up the night sky. Cold and all alone, left on the dinner table. Or worse, tossed away in the garbage, never to be looked at or thought of again. You were never one for getting second chances.
Your heart envelopes everyone who catches your gaze. A saucerful of secrets you hold deep and dear.
Pushed one way and pulled another, you teeter-totter between the life chosen and the life you yearn for. In your dreams the forest beckons you. It took your soul years ago. True heart’s desire. Theres no place like home. Theres no place like home. You tap your feet for eleven months of the year for the one that lets you be free. You spread your wings and leap with joy until you hear the familiar rustling of the wind against the trees as they dance together in harmony. Twigs cracking under the heaving weight of a burly black bear. The sweet smell of berries galore. Mountains tower to the Heavens, guarding.
This is how I met you. I saw your soul and it forever captured my heart. Because mine too, lies in unlikely places. Where few venture and fewer linger. I have seen your true love and she is vast, beautiful. I love her too. She makes you smile a smile I have never seen before. Like dying star, the cosmic light bursting through the Universe faster than light, longer than a human life. It shines for all realities and dimensions of every galaxy to see. Every living, being, feeling organism is touched by that smile. It is neither forced, nor planned, but impulsive, a must-be. For how else do you express such a magnitude of joy?
The familiar morning dew soaking right through your driest and warmest pants. Your all too familiar gloves, caked with weeks of dirt. The comforting cold metal of your shovel. Simple. A friendly fox looking to share some of your lunch. A majestic moose racing through the treeline. Bits of you. Pieces of you. Blue and green M&Ms from a rainbow spectrum of colours.
Longing. Yearning. It pierces me. The strongest, sharpest knife. I cannot take the sheer force of it all.
Cars. Unhappy people. Material excess. Money. Money. Money. Check to make sure your suit fits just right. The days swirl by like an endless drone. Mechanical. Fabricated. Lifeless. The antipode of your soul, the forest. A living, being ecosystem. There you rot like an old stump. You lost the rest of your tree- it was sold, used, taken beyond your control.
There is one bud, it blossoms before your eyes. You are it’s Sun; it’s light, food, water. Your own miniature forest, cultivated and nourished from what remains of your heart. Of your smile. That smile.
In your dreams you always return. You go back to find your soul, to find your smile.
This is where I sit and wait. Waiting for the day you’ll return and make the Universe shine again. Strong and resilient, a small seed dropped in unfamiliar land. You wait to be born again. To be whole again. To be tall and spread the forest floor, the world, the Universe with the seeds of your smile. Of your love.
You will stand tall and walk with the trees once more.