How do you feel about someone
A figure in your life
There before your memories
Who you feel you knew and also did not?

You are afraid of how you might
Or whether you should
Too much or too little
What do you do when you don’t know what to say
About someone who was so much of your life
Even though you can’t speak to it
You can’t put your finger on it
But in so many ways they were there

So many intricacies
Woven together
The spiderweb of this family

And no one else sees it
Mindlessly walking away
Through every carefully constructed web
Tossing into oblivion

No awareness of what lay there
Deep blossomed love
A shared collective
Enshrined together

And all of a sudden
You are a torrent
A raging waterfall of sadness
Deep bellowing thunderstorms
Hurling out of your being

Ebbing and flowing as the tides
Remembering and reminding
The rip brought you out
And now you float

Alone in the ocean of normalcy
The societal schools of fish surround you
Wondering why you haven’t jumped yet
Into the pool of the rest of them

You look up and see his face
Hear his voice shining down on you
The blues fade into greens
And the forest begins to surround you
Hugging every part of your being
Just as they all would
Just as you would want to hug him
One last time

All that is below
All that surrounds
Becomes irrelevant
And as you look up
The breeze picks up
And you feel his presence
Reminding you
And carrying all of it
Through you

And that
Is all that matters

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